Families May Shape Bullies

I went to a workshop on bullying before the winter break, and it was very informative and also somewhat alarming. It is amazing how technology and societal factors have expanded the ways kids can pick on each other!

Bullying is when a child with more power intentionally hurts a child with less power over and over again. Bullying can be:

• physical (hitting, kicking, punching, etc)
• verbal (teasing, name-calling, etc)
• nonverbal or emotional (intimidation through gestures, social exclusion, or harming the victim's relationships)
• cyber (sending insulting or intimidating messages by email, test message, or other electronic means)

I know there is a lot of information out there about how to help your child if he or she is the victim of bullying, but some of the more surprising information from the workshop was about the bullies themselves. Some pieces of information that I thought I'd pass onto y'all today are the family factors that make it more likely that a child will become a bully. Children who bully are more likely than their non-bullying peers to live in homes where there is:

• A lack of warmth and involvement on the part of the parents
• Overly-permissive parenting (including a lack of limits for children's behavior)
• A lack of supervision by parents
• Harsh, physical discipline
• A model for bullying behavior (for example, the child knows that one or both parents hurt other people's bodies, feelings, property, or relationships, or attempt to get what they want by manipulation, force, cruelty, or violence)

Why should parents be worried that their child might become a bully? One reason is that it makes other antisocial or violent behaviors more likely, which can end up creating big problems for parents in the future with the police, peers, school, jobs, or the child's own safety. Youth who bully their peers frequently are more likely to:

• Get into frequent fights
• Be injured in a fight
• Vandalize property
• Steal property
• Drink alcohol
• Smoke
• Be truant from school
• Drop out of school
• Carry a weapon
• Have more than one criminal conviction by the age of 24

If you think your child may be bullying others, there is much you can do!

• Make it clear to your child that you take bullying seriously and will not tolerate this behavior.
• Develop clear and consistent rules within your family for your child's behavior. Praise and reinforce your child for following rules and use non-physical, non-hostile consequences for rule violations.
• Spend more time with your child and carefully supervise and monitor his or her activities. Find out who your child's friends are and how and where they spend their free time.
• Build on your child's talents by encouraging him or her to get involved in prosocial activities (such as clubs, music lesson, non-violent sports, etc)
• Share your concerns with your child's teacher, counselor, or principal. Work together to send clear messages to your child that his or her bullying must stop.
• If you or your child need additional help, talk with a school counselor or mental health professional in the community.

The above information is from www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov. They have more resources at their website if you'd like!

Some of the information we received at the workshop dealt with cyberbullying, which is bullying that takes place on a computer, cell phone, or other electronic device. I won't share much of that information here because I know that is probably not an issue for most of our young TPS students. Of course, if you would like me to send information home to you about cyberbullying, please let me know anytime!

Thanks for reading! We are glad you are here!