Books on Raising Boys

Sometimes I am struck by things I see in the media. Well, okay, really that happens more than just sometimes. :) 

But, the other day, overhearing a TV show my husband was watching, it occurred to me how backwards our society can be when it comes to our view of males. In this particular case, men were riduculing other men for actions that sounded to me like basic courtesy toward important people in their lives, or turning to the unconditional love of their family in times of disappointment. Other times, I hear men in the media talking about actions like angry rages, violence, disrespectful words, and blatantly uncaring or hurtful actions as thought they are commonplace or even acceptable. You would think it was a nation-wide "backwards day" all the time!

Of course I know that it is a tough world, and we want to raise our children to be strong so they can cope with it. But, there is a difference between being strong and being scary/disrespectful. And sometimes being tough means having the courage, character, confidence, and internal strength to do what you know is right even when the rest of society thinks it is something to ridicule. I certainly realize that I may be more sensitive to this being a female with a counseling degree who works with kids, but it seems to me that we should be trying to encourage a higher standard (perhaps thinking about the kinds of males we'd like our sisters or daughters to marry). I personally will always prefer to see a man cry instead of punching or cursing someone.

Anyway, I truly am not writing this to sound preachy or soapboxy, and I hope I haven't offended anyone! What I really wanted to tell you is that if you are looking for guidance on raising boys in a way that balances masculinity and emotional well-being, I can recommend two books on the subject: Raising Cain by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, and Real Boys by William Pollack. It's been a while since I read them, but I remember really enjoying both.

For a similar book on raising girls to be strong and confident, I believe Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher is one of the titles most often mentioned. I have not yet read it myself so I cannot vouch for it, and I believe it focuses mainly on adolescents, but it seems to be well-respected. If you know of any other similar books focused on girls, please let me know! I may not be up-to-date on that literature!

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