Celebrating When Kids Act Sweet

This is a re-post of a blog entry from last February. Many of you told me that my last post on consequences was timely and helpful for you, so I thought I'd re-share this list of ideas for celebrating good behavior or keeping up the positive attention in case you might find that side of the behavior equation useful now too!

I found a pretty long list of "rewards" for good behavior in the book How To Behave So Your Children Will Too by Sal Severe, and I thought I would post some of them here in case anyone is looking for fresh ideas. I added a few possibilities that I've learned from teachers or other books. One of the hardest parts of setting up a behavior plan for kids is figuring out rewards and consequences that will motivate them! If you have any great ideas that are working in your home, please feel free to share them by clicking "comments" underneath this post.

• One-on-one time with a parent or other special adult
• Brother's Day/Sister's Day/Kids' Day
• Going on a "mystery ride" or drive in the car
• Marble jar or warm fuzzy (colored cotton ball) jar- add a marble or ball to the jar for meeting behavior goals. When it is a filled there is a reward or surprise, or certain numbers of items can be redeemed for certain rewards. (This can also be fun in reverse, for example, if you are counting down to a special event. If grandma comes to visit in 30 days, put 30 items in the jar and remove one every day.)
• Money jar (add coins for meeting behavior goals, charge "fines" for misdeeds)
• Flying a kite
• Making a blanket tent in the house
• Backyard camp-out or picnic
• Staying up late on weekends
• Going to a relative's house, park, or library
• Parent or special adult has lunch at school
• Special notes in lunchbox, sent in the mail, or hidden in child's room
• Special snack or lunch item of child's choice
• Reading an extra book at bedtime, or reading another chapter in a special "reward" book
• Downloading a new song
• Making a special snack like popcorn or ice cream sundaes
• Bubble bath at bathtime
• Helping prepare a dessert or meal of their choice
• Letting them choose the family dinner
• Helping parents with special projects
• Mystery jar with surprise rewards inside
• Mystery reward puzzle: write out a surprise reward using only underscores or blanks (like Wheel of Fortune or Hangman). Every time the child meets their behavior goal, they earn a letter. When they spell out the reward, they get it. This can also work with blank jigsaw puzzle pieces that you have decorated- when the child earns all the pieces they get the reward.
• Their choice of playtime or project, like painting, play-doh, building a lego city, playing catch, etc.
• Magic tricks
• Special rubber stamps or stickers in a book or on a chart
• Going for a walk or bike ride
• "Dance party" in the living room
• A sign proclaiming consecutive days meeting the goal, like those "Accident Free for 63 Days" signs you see in workplaces

Your children might have some good ideas too. Rewards do not have to be complicated or expensive- sometimes kids have quirky things they just love and will work for. I once knew a boy who loved getting a rubber stamp that looked like a quarter on his calendar- our whole behavior team tried numerous more complicated rewards before we discovered something as simple as THAT! :)