Boredom Training Sessions

Over the summer I read Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless by Jim and Charles Fay. Overall, it was a great extension of the Love & Logic ideas, useful for any parent who finds that approach to discipline helpful and would like more details. One of my favorite new strategies was the authors' suggestion of Boredom Training Sessions. I know, just by that name you can already tell this is going to be a fun parenting idea, right?! If you get tired of hearing "I'm bored!" from your kids, you may want to schedule a Boredom Training Session!

Basically the authors say there is an important difference between exposing kids to plenty of healthy stimulation and keeping them "entertained." Healthy stimulation, which research shows is necessary for brain development and visual-motor coordination, encourages kids to think actively and use their creativity. It does not always involve adult participation, but can include activities like reading books together, telling them stories about your childhood and ancestry, asking them questions about their day, and playing games together. It involves materials and toys that do not have batteries and can be used in a variety of interesting and creative ways. The book offers a few examples of toys and materials that foster creativity:

• A sandbox
• Clay
• Dolls and toy animals (without batteries)
• Books
• Crayons, paints, markers, and paper
• Toy trucks and cars that you have to push
• An old cardboard box
• Wood and safe hand tools for older kids

In contrast, "entertainment" is passive in nature. In small doses, entertainment is healthy and important! We all enjoy things like movies and TV shows to take a mental break at times. However, too much entertainment on a daily basis results in kids who have difficulty with self-directed, creative, critical thinking; may be prone to hyperactivity; and expect to be "entertained" by parents, teachers, and others. All of the above set them up for a frustrating life indeed. It also creates kids who walk around complaining to their parents, "I'm bored! This is boooooooooooooring!" (I know we can all use less of that!)

The authors list the following examples of "entertaining" toys and activities that should be limited by parents. In small doses they are healthy and fun. When they become a way of life, they are harmful and not in our children's best interest. (The authors recommend 30-60 minutes per day of this kind of "entertainment.") These kinds of toys and activities discourage creativity and encourage boredom:

• Video games
• TV and movies (even educational programming does not require active thought, creativity, and participation)
• Toys that have too many flashing lights and noises and only do one thing (they do not promote different creative uses and active thinking)
• Too many overscheduled activities for children and the family, rushing from one thing to the next and wearing all of you out

So, what is a Boredom Training Session? Once you have limited passive entertainment and brought materials for healthy stimulation into your home, a BTS is just a planned opportunity for your children to find themselves in a dull situation, get bored, and practice making their own excitement with creative thinking. Here is how it works:

1. Pick a time that is convenient for you, not when you are particularly stressed or working on a big project.

2. Consider how your child might react and have some Love & Logic strategies in mind in case they challenge you.

3. Provide a dull period of time in your home (the authors recommend 30-60 minutes every day of simple peace and quiet with all your children's electronics turned off).

4. Watch your children learn and grow!

The book goes into details about the Love & Logic strategies you might use in your BTS, describing how to hand the child's problem of being bored back to them in a loving way and encourage their problem-solving thinking, end arguing by going "Brain Dead," use the "Energy Drain" technique if arguing or whining persists, and use "I noticed..." sentences to highlight the behaviors you want to see. I will not go into the strategies at length here, but would be happy to send copies of that information home in your child's backpack if you would like me to. Just let me know!

Good luck fighting boredom and promoting brain development and creativity! If you have any suggestions or ideas that have worked well to prevent the "I'm bored!" complaints in your home, please feel free to comment on this post in order to share them with me and other parents. Thanks!